By now you most likely realise that I have departed and am not coming back. I am deeply sorrowful for the punishment you will have to endure on my behalf for relaying my departure and defection to your Lord. I can no longer serve Him anymore for I know that it is not in me to kill. Even though I know you will never be able to forgive me, please understand that it is not you I am deserting, but the cause you fight for. And while I know I will never see you again, I wanted to tell you how much I care for you. You have been like a second father to me since I was born and I thank you for that. Please take care of my mother for me.